Tale e Quale Show – The same host of L'Eredità hosts the “Carbon Copy”. This 2 hour show stars the same 12 contestants. They’re all singers. Each week they are “randomly” assigned some music video or popular song to sing. They must not only perform the song, but they must impersonate the artist. All songs have a music video or some well known video of the artist performing the song. During the week the contestants practice the song with a vocal coach, have a tailor make them outfits to match the original artist, practice any choreography, and then spend hours with a make-up artist before their performance. While most of the artists they must impersonate are Italian, some are English. We saw 2 of the contestants impersonating Frank Sinatra and Judy Garland’s performance of New York New York. Towards the end of the show one performer impersonated Louis Armstrong singing What a Wonderful World – complete with blackface! This would not fly in America where people go nuts whenever some white person wears blackface. I’m sitting on the couch thinking, what other “politically incorrect” performance might they pick (remember, I’m pretty good at Cards Against Humanity). I immediately thought of Ray Charles. Why not impersonate a disabled black guy? Could they cross some other socially inappropriate line? The worst I could think of was Sinéad O'Connor’s performance on Saturday Night Live when she ended her song by tearing a picture of the Pope. Surely Italians would not stand for that! At the end of the show they randomly select the artist they are to impersonate for next week’s show. Someone selected Stevie Wonder (I wasn’t far off). Since we’ve been watching we’ve seen several other inappropriate pairings to include Rihanna, José Feliciano, Beyoncé, Pharrell Williams (performed by a female), and an Italian female singer performed by a guy. The 3 judges rank them, then each performer gives points to whoever they thought was best, and then the home audience can call in to vote. No one’s kicked off and next week all 12 return to perform. Go figure.
Affari Tuoi – This show, translated as “Your Affairs” is similar to “Deal or No Deal”. Here, contestants representing every region of Italy have a numbered box containing an amount of money from €0,01 to €500.000. The game starts showing a contestant with a box who is the player for this week’s show. He picks 3 boxes, then receives an offer for the contents of his box from the “doctor”. The contestant either accepts the offer or continues selecting boxes. The first offer is sometimes fair, but future offers are well below expected value which forces the player to press ahead. The shows usually end with 2 boxes remaining and the player either taking the offer (the offer at this point is usually fair) or risking the offer for the contents of his box. Players rarely win more than €40.000 and many win less than €10.000. We even saw a guy win €10. The show has several twists from its American counterpart, but the host makes the show. He’s running, singing, dancing, and talking throughout the show – stretching it to a full hour. He either downs 3 shots of espresso prior to coming on stage, or snorts coke. He’s got that much energy.
Miss Italia – This just happened to air while we were in Senigallia. Dozens of girls participate from sponsored local pageants, so there may be more than one Miss Umbria or Miss Roma if more than one business sponsored a pageant there. The eliminations are brutal, which makes this watchable, and the swimsuits portion lasts the bulk of the show. In Miss America, they may announce the Top 10 semifinalists, but not here. They come right out and tell you #50, then #49, etc. At some point they get down to 18 girls. They pull out 5 of them and one by one tell 4 of the 5 that they’ve been eliminated. Then they pick one of the remaining 13 girls and tell her she’s through to the next round. This leaves 12 girls awaiting their fate. Someone draws a number, like a lottery ball, and this girl selects one of the remaining girls to face off against. They each get to strut their stuff on the cat walk one more time. The 5 judges each vote for which girl gets to advance. Being poor with math, when a judge votes for a girl, she takes a step forward. Whoever has stepped furthest after the 5 judges have voted is the one to advance. Another ball is selected and another girl picks a girl to face off against. The Hunger Games facet here is that the girl whose number is drawn has the advantage of picking the “least attractive” girls to face off against. Finally we’re down to 8 girls who are verbally critiqued by the judges and eliminated from the bottom up one at a time. Everyone knows where they stand. People can then call in and vote and they show the percentages! I’m telling you, it’s slow and brutal. These girls need some thick skin. This would never fly in the States. Every round seems to have a different elimination process, and with so many different ways to out the prettiest girls, the winner cannot possibly the best looking girl, so Italy really will never have a shot at winning Miss Universe (or whatever the next level is). Either way, it was a blast to watch.
Roulette Live – There is one channel that is on 24 hours a day that is nothing more than roulette. People play from home on wingatv.it. The hostess rolls the ball around the roulette wheel where it lands on a number. Lists of winners and their amounts they’ve won flash on the screen. She talks for anywhere between 45 and 90 seconds while new bets are placed before spinning the ball and starting the process all over again. The host is always dressed elegantly to match the Las Vegas style set. Whoever runs this program must be making a mint. Ok, what number am I thinking of now? Wrong, you lose. Next.
SplitTV – This channel shows poker 24 hours a day. They have several different series. In one series a host sits with a player who is playing heads-up online on the Poker Club site. The host announces the cards and calls the action as the player sitting right next to him clicks the mouse. Play ranges from average to good, but the host is a terrible poker player and his comments reflect this. Another series is called “Queens at Tea Time” where the hostess and 2 other ladies attempt to play an online sit-n-go. They play weak-passive the entire show, lamenting winning hands they folded pre-flop and both marveling and admonishing other players who play weaker hands and win big pots. They’re hilarious as poker at their level is 100% results oriented. The last type of series is a tournament broadcast like you’d see in the U.S., and it may in fact have been a U.S. production, but there are two Italian announcers calling the action over the top of the original taping. It’s like having me and a buddy rebroadcast ESPN’s WSOP Main Event broadcast with our audio commentary. What makes this funny is that these two announcers are also terrible poker players. They have no concept of when to bet, check, raise, or fold, and bet-sizing is an unfamiliar concept to them. They’re over-the-top emotional with each card turned or pot won. Italians are enamored with Texas Hold’em and can legally play online with other Italians, and this channel seems to encourage the average player to give it a try, especially the “Queens at Tea Time” series where the 3 ladies go through a range of emotions while never winning a single euro playing poker online.